Amos Tversky is one of our generation's legendary psychologists. Amos and Daniel Kahneman changed the way we think about economics, rationality and psychology. In an interview, Amos was asked how he had chosen to become a psychologist. The brilliance of his response blew me away:
“It’s hard to know how people select a course in life,” Amos said.
“The big choices we make are practically random. The small choices probably tell us more about who we are. Which field we go into may depend on which high school teacher we happen to meet. Who we marry may depend on who happens to be around at the right time of life. On the other hand, the small decisions are very systematic.
That I became a psychologist is probably not very revealing. What kind of psychologist I am may reflect deep traits.”
Amos' take on his work challenged my assumption that we have absolute agency over how we select our course in life.
I'm reminded of the time I walked into the wrong operating room as a medical student. I decided to stay to watch a few cataract operations, and was totally entranced by the elegance of the surgery. I didn't know it at the time, but connecting the dots in hindsight, this very random experience probably changed the course of my life.
What kind of "x" do you want to be?
Is probably a better question to ask than "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
We are often so identified with our work, that it's easy to forget that how you go about your work is probably more important than what you choose to do. You only have to think about your peers or bosses doing the exact same work as you, to know this is true.
Amos' insight reminds us not to spend so much time agonising on our past big life choices, but instead to focus on the little decisions within our control. He reminds us that those little choices reflect our principles and values, and make up more of who we are than our labels.
You are not what you do, but how you go about doing it.